Letter to my Ex

From the archives. Circa July 2008. Update: I haven’t thought of him in years. And he really was on Jeopardy.

I had the oddest dream last night — we were at the grocery store with

a group of people.  There was a secret compartment and a jump rope

contest and some person buying bales of hay. An I was buying yogurt – which I never eat because I can’t stand the consistency.

And my sister was there and it seemed quite real because she was giving attitude, which is what she does in real life.

I forgot my credit card so I thought I couldn’t pay. Then I luckily I found a $100 bill in my wallet. Which is also

odd because I never have cash, but I think that’s something to do with

yesterday because I went to the drive through to pick up a quick lunch

and I didn’t have my wallet. And of course they won’t give you food

without money.

So, this is a really scary stream of consciousness…

In fact, I’ve just been thinking about you. Not obsessively but on occasion when someone or someone reminds me of Utah or of you.

Oh, and there was that time I swear I saw you on Jeopardy – but it was just a commercial and I couldn’t be sure.

Anyway, I hope that you are well.  I guess more than anything I’m just

curious about how you’re doing.

Also, there was this tender moment in

the dream where we were walking along the isles of the grocery store

(insane, I know), and it was just sort of nice like – old friends. And you had your arm around me and I reached up and touched your face.

This is sounding really cheesy or like the script of some lame not even going to be X rated movie.

Cut back to the grocery store:

it was a nice moment and it really made me remember all of the good things

about you. And I guess for a long time after I left Utah in order for me to cope – I thought of all of the bad things.

And now I’m in a much different place in my life (happy, successful, fabulous)

and its nice to be able to look back or think back and be really positive.

So – whew.  I hope that you are doing famously and that you are truly

happy.  Know that I think of you occasionally – and that it makes me

smile.

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