I worry I’m not making any contribution personally. Professionally I’m well respected. I’ve been instrumental in building my particular channel, which is what my company hired me for and what I wanted to do. For the last two years I’ve overseen or consulted on all major decisions for my division, most often writing the specific business plans and creating the actual strategy, as well as ensuring the implementation is prioritized appropriately. I’ve lead the growth from $60million in revenue to a projected half a billion this year and over a billion by end of 2015. But it’s not my company. It’s a great company, but I just work there.
Personally I sometimes wonder if I’ve figured out what my contribution should be, what I want it to be, or how to make it. I volunteer and I spend time with family and try to be a good person and so on… And I am really happy with my life. But I worry I’ll need much more to be satisfied in the next couple years. I think I should be doing more and thinking longer term. I’m selfish. Or lazy. Or superficial. I’m not focused on my contribution as much as my personal happiness.
I like writing but I’m my own audience. I’ve never thought anyone would really be too interested in my most personal thoughts, or even my personal breakthroughs.